So, it's about that time pre-marriage, where you can start to freak out about where to live, how you're going to budget on one salary and a half (until I finish school), combining car insurance, bank accounts, etc.... Now, it's time for those details, which are decidedly less fun. Not that looking for a place to live wasn't exciting and we found the COOLEST place (God is goooooooood!!), but I mean all the other money stuff kinda makes me not want to be a grown-up sometimes.
I know, I know -- it's good and important and I'm learning and growing and all that jazz. It can just be a lot to deal with sometimes and I'm the kind of person who gets in to ultra go-mode and if you give me some kind of money puzzle (like in what ways can we save money), I'm just like GOOOOOO until I get it all figured out. And then I realized that while go-mode can be all well and good (Randall calls it "Rockett go-mode" because it seems like every member of my family gets this way from time to time), it's sometimes better to just breathe. I mean, if I just take a moment to step away from it all (which I'd really like to do), it somehow gets simpler when it doesn't all have to be done right now.
I think go-mode happens because when something big happens like this, I get all stressed out and I just think that the sooner I "fix" it and get it done, the sooner I can be done stressing about it -- which, in theory, is all well and good, but what I think I'm forgetting is that I might be creating extra stress for myself in trying to figure everything out NOW instead of letting it just sit and simmer for a little while. Things usually make more sense that way. I'm kind of a simple person in that way...most things, especially emotional things, I need TIME to process...so why would I think I don't need time to process big financial or other life-changing decisions?
Wow, hm.
I don't know if I have an answer for that one. Stumped myself! Well, if you have any thoughts, you go-mode-folks (I know you're out there somewhere), let me know.
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Well, on the contrary, I, for one, have always been in awe of the "Rockett go-mode" (which, by the way, is a much more creative title than what I had unconsciously and internally been calling all along "The Anna Zone").
ReplyDeleteWhen we were roomies I was really quite impressed by how much you were able to accomplish and knock out in a single swoop (flashbacks of Guillermo and Ecuador also come to mind...hahaha!) I really wondered how you did it, but then I noticed the amount of coffee you drink, and the mystery was completely solved!
Ok, ok, I'll be serious. Yes, being productive and on the ball are great qualities that you possess, but it is ok to just shrik your "responsibilities" from time to time. The things that we perceive to be HUGE and all important, usually are not...and yet, we stress out and fret over them. Bank accounts, seriously? I mean, I know we're like in a "financial crisis" or something, but the bank isn't going anywhere. You're one of the most responsible people that I know, and as crazy as this sounds, the world will not fall apart if you don't plan everything! Hakuna Matata, chica.
I must say, you did learn from the master, and you learned very well I might add. You seem to have a bit better insight into trying to learn to tone it down a bit--I may never get there. However, it does take us Rockett-go-types to make the world go 'round--at least efficiently, that is.
ReplyDeleteActually, it is the "Taylor" go mode. I think most Rocketts are actually too laid back. :)
ReplyDeleteReferencing Humanity in General:
ReplyDeleteI feel that we are more likely as humans to process through emotional qualitative items
as a process rather than a decision due to the fact that generally an emotional response stems
from an external stimuli.
That external agent is usually something we care about and thus we can't dismiss it with
a quick internal fix as that doesn't do anything productive to solve the situation in a harmonious manner.
If you notice internal things often are a quicker process.
For example in my line of work ideas are presented for scrutiny. I can't take a prolonged emotional response
to these manners and it's generally really only me feeling bad that something didn't get accepted so I quickly dismiss the feelings to accomplish my various work related items.
A discussion of the heart as we often find ourselves in with the ones we love requires more attention and more caring.
We want the other person to feel good and since we can't fully control that we spend time showing them love. ( Hopefully in ways they receive love. )
However a matter of finances is generally looked at as something that we ourselves are in control over. If we can control it, then we
try to quickly process through it. The typical human reason behind this is due to the fact that we don't want to suffer prolonged consequences
or suffering so we seek to solve that which could hurt us quickest. Often times even if everything is ok! That fear or self-inflicted hurt is not appealing.
After all don't the external agents hurt us enough? Why allow something we can control to hurt us? It sounds absurd.
We must escape this pattern of thinking. As cliche as it may sounds all reactions whether or a qualitative or quantitative manner should all start with God.
In doing so we escape the feelings of self-protection and interest and move to broader sense that can take something like finances and turn it into an
opportunity to glorify God.
From our Crown training I borrow the ideas that everything is the Lord's. His Word tells us this over and over.
So if it is His - then that must mean I merely manage it. If I am managing something of God's that comes with great
responsibility. Therefore instead of an attitude of what can I do with this situation to escape harm or better myself... what can I do with this situation
to bring honor to God, better my family's life, and serve those around me.
This should naturally cause me pause as I consider that my quantitative decisions now influence the qualitative world around me.
Case in point:
While we were searching for apartments I suddenly became further aware of the effects that our budget has on our family.
At which point my quantitative decision turned qualitative. I then asked would God have us consider other options?
When I realized that I might go against God's Will however my thinking pattern turned back to protection. I was immediately
needing to expand our search... which just so happened to be in an area that you did not want my love. Being in quantative mode
my brain didn't consider any reasons outside of budget and time. However when I realized that the decision expanded to include what you were
currently concerned about - I realized that you had legit qualitative reasons for what you wanted.
At that point I realized that it starts with God and has to stay with God.
Thankfully He Allowed us to quickly see where we needed to be and Provided for us!
If the above paragraph was confusing I would merely propose then that often our quantitative "get it done quick"
decisions affect and include more than we know. Being a programmer I tend to analyze so I would caution against analyzing in this case
and instead propose on "reflection."
One thing from my profession I can bring in however is the idea of working on something, taking a break and coming back to it refreshed.
This allows us to perform the quantiative actions: ie. budget => math, while having periods of prayer, and mental rest so that we can
ensure that our decisions are correct and good and won't cause further peril later because we hurried too quickly now.
In Psalm 32:8 the Lord tells us that He Will Show the way in which we should go.
Anna pointed out to me that the Spanish translation of "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life" - reads "I am the Path."
This must mean that all things include God on our journey - and welcoming our Eternal Lord into our hearts and thought processes
will always ensure that we are taking the proper time on something.
With this said my love - you are amazing at budgets and planning. I've always admired it in you and always will.
I think this blog is wonderful and the things you post allow me to reflect on what God has Done, Is Doing, and Will Do for us.
It also spurs me on deeper into my own walk of faith. This journey we are on together is truly Blessed and I could never ever ask for
a better partner, helper, and friend to spend the rest of my life with. Budgets, Plans, and all! Team! :)
I love you!
-Randall ( The Future Hubby )
I also think it is "Taylor-go-mode" or "LuAnn-go-mode"; but I fully understand the scenario as it's a desire to get things resolved and taken care of (there's power in that). There are times when go-mode is very needed and there are times that a more "go with the flow style" is necessary and mixing the two is a fine art. I say art as you won't have it mastered the first time or the fifth. But you will get smarter each time. Be patient. Be reflective. Take a broad perspective and you two will be fine.
ReplyDeleteAnd Randall, as an in-law to the Rocketts (who I love dearly), I'm always here for you (much like your future mother-in-law was for me). In-laws look out for each other as we adjust to our new scenario.
Doug